The Greek

I have a story to tell. It's too long and convoluted for one post and none of us have the time for that. It's not a particularly unique story. I believe there are millions of women just like me who find themselves newly single and in their 40s. I will address it all but for now lets start a little further into the story. Take my hand, we are going to Rhodes.

It was a completely. I just decided one day that I was sick of myself and had to do something. Stop talking and resenting and do something I always wanted to do. So I booked a solo trip away. Nothing fancy, a long weekend to Rhodes (cheap flight) and with no plan whatsoever.

So I went, no rushing, no overthinking and no anxiety. Well… some anxiety. It's an unwritten law to check for your passport every 20 mins to make sure it hasn’t jumped out of the zipped compartment in your handbag. I went to Faliraki beach on the Saturday and Sunday and sat in my thoughts. On the final day I went to Rhodes Old Town and went back in time as I wandered that extraordinary medieval fortress. I spent a lot of time sitting in my own thoughts there as well. Watching.

I noticed a trend: young couples in their 20s on holiday together. And what should be a fun and romantic event - full of memories - looked miserable.

One couple on the beach ignored each other completely. She lay fidgeting at her bikini as he sat looking at other women behind his sunglasses – guys, we know by the way.  There was a couple at the bus stop on the way to Rhodes arguing over getting a taxi. She was sick of waiting for the bus. He wanted to wait. She began shouting at him, calling him stubborn and asking why he wouldn’t just get a taxi. She eventually walked off and he trailed after her. Later, as I sat on a park wall watching the world go by, this same couple walked by me. She charged on ahead as he kept a slow pace behind her. I witnessed the beginning and end of their day trip and all I saw was frustration with each other. All that money, all that time, to be not enjoying each other’s company and therefore the trip. And it hit home.

My mind wandered to the three “holidays” I went on with my ex in the two decades we were together. How awful they had been. Maybe one day I shall be brave enough to write about them in more detail but for now I will say – eighteen years, three trips. And when he booked the fourth without discussing it with me back in January of this year, that’s when I knew I had to fast track my separation. I was not getting on that plane with him.

I hope that isn’t the future for those couples. I hope I just caught them at a bad time. Maybe I got it all wrong, maybe they were siblings. But I doubt it.

We have convinced ourselves that a successful life, one well lived, is one in a relationship. That in order to have done life right we need to have someone by our side through it. I wondered at what cost do we do this to ourselves. I know the price I paid. I believe many of us settle because of this thinking and we are most guilty of it in our 20s. With the beauty of hindsight it’s easy to know that the idea you have found your person during one of the most formative decades is absurd. I suppose its maybe because in your 20s there is a manic need to rush forward with everything - career, experiences, status and relationships.

My first one-night stand on Tinder was back in mid-July with a wonderful young man who I shall name The Gentleman. I will talk about him more one day I am sure but for now I will refer to a conversation we had that night. One of many, nonetheless. The Gentleman was 27, attractive, funny and charming. He also had a very well-paying job that afforded him to travel around the world. He has seen so much already at such a young age and there is wisdom when he speaks. And yet, he told me how time was running out, that he was “getting on”, how he wanted a kid, that it was important he had one. So much so that he didn’t masturbate because he didn’t want to use up his seed. I had to educate him on the fact that this was utter insanity he was spouting not just in terms of biology but on the pressure he was putting on himself.

Time. We put so much emphasis on it no matter what stage of life we are at. And it took a long weekend on a Greek island for me to realise that slowing down gives you more time. We think of time as something to be used up or we are going to lose it. We convince ourselves that we “waste” time. What a strange concept when you think about it. If time is so precious, so easy to waste, why do we insist on sharing it with someone who isn’t making it enjoyable? Why do we insist on staying when the fun stops?

It wasn’t just the couples that made me reflect on all of this though. Let me tell you about The Greek...

The Greek

Let me preface this by saying that if Rhodes is anything to go by, Greek men are extraordinary. Seriously gorgeous and mighty looking specimens. And sexually and romantically feral.

I spoke to many on Tinder but by the Sunday of my trip but it was looking like a no go. I felt nervous about a hook up in a different country and so I shied away every time. By the time I got to Sunday night I had 2000 likes since arriving on the island. Ladies, they are literally waiting for us to get off the plane.

Getting ready to leave the next day and with no plans I started swiping left on my likes to clear when I came across this beautiful young man. I swiped right and instantly he messaged. I am telling you – they are waiting!

From the get go he was funny and endearingly unusual. He led the conversation and soon he was on my insta and talking about coming to meet me. Okay, I thought, why not.

Then I realised his age – 23!!!

I messaged him and told him absolutely not, that this was wildly inappropriate. His response? “It totally is. And I am here for it.” Being the magnet to chaos that I am, it turned out, so was I.

What a night. That young man romanced me, fucked me, ate me, and made me laugh. What a night.

And then, just after midnight, he left because he had work the next day. And at the time a part of me was disappointed. He said he had to go because he didn’t bring his work gear and my insecure brain thought, why didn’t you bring your work gear. Do you just want to get away from me? Current brain thinks, why the fuck would he bring his work gear? Why are you making this more than what it is?

Whether he wanted away from me or not is irrelevant. We had a great time together so let it end on the high it deserves. He lives in Rhodes, he probably does this every night (he came with condoms AND lube!) Let the night be what it was and stop romanticising it into something it isn’t. Romanticise it for what it was.

This young man made me feel great. And the things he said to me! Here are some of the highlights…

“You fuck like an eighteen year old.” I am still riding high from this one.

“You are a young soul, you have a spark in your eyes.” This was after I told him his eyes say he is an old soul.

“You are a wonderful creature.” This was sent by insta the next day as I was leaving.

I think I have figured out the Tinder game, because it is a game.

With these extraordinary men I have the pleasure of being with, for one night we let lust pretend to be love. We enjoy each other, company and bodies, and then we go our separate ways with our mini love stories. We get to walk away thinking nothing but positive things. No dragging it out until it stops being fun. How could you not romanticise this?

I don’t walk away attached. Thinking of them fondly does not mean I am attached. The Greek, along with others I will tell you about over time, have made profound impacts on how I think and live my life. And they have no idea. But that’s the thing about extraordinary people – they do extraordinary things without knowing it.

As you can see nothing truly "big" happened. To most it probably seems quite a boring trip. But on the journey home I knew that in the space of four days with no big events to report, I had transformed into a completely different person. For me, getting on the plane, sitting on the beach with just my thoughts, people watching, venturing out alone, the night with The Greek, and affording it all by myself has made me realise I can do anything really. So can you. Book the trip.

When writing this post I looked back at my journal to make sure I hadn't missed anything out. Here is what I wrote late July after booking this trip:

"I keep fantasising about being in Rhodes. Blue skies and calm waters; going to the local shop to buy fruit; sitting on the patio eating breakfast; cooking at the casa; reading on the beach in my bikini. Being bravee. Being free. I have to be free. This much I know about the rest of my life."

Diary Excerpt, 28th July 2026

I agree, because she who is brave, is free.